#personal #story – #Rent outtakes

As anyone living in NYC knows, hunting for an apartment can become quite the adventure between brokers, landlords, and roommates. Below are excerpts from actual roommate ads while I was looking for a place to live back in October of 2012. Sometimes you just cannot make this stuff up.

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Hi there. I’m a 33 year old professional with a studio in Chelsea. I would love to share it with the right person, preferably a gay-friendly guy. It is in a great location near all the restaurants and bars in the area. I’m 5’9 and 165, white and drug/disease free. I prefer a young college student or professional who is responsible, charming, and fun. I enjoy exercising, reading, running, shows, bowling, and sexual intimacy. If interested shoot me a note and a pic.

Preferable to a professional male that travels a lot.

Prefer someone who doesn’t cook much and seldom brings boyfriend home.

Just to be clear, nobody lives in the apartment YET– we are all going into this together.

Three dance trainee students are looking for a friendly, and neat female student to share the largest bedroom with one of them.

No shower in space nor in the bldg as this is a typical artist loft. There is a sink for washing, etc.

My friend is seeking someone who is looking to stay long term, 6 months to a year minimum. He has had better experience with females roommates.

What I am looking for in a roommate:

  • Male only
  • No drama
  • No party
  • No pets
  • Non-smoker
  • Prefer student, or young working professional
  • Quiet, clean, and responsible
  • Single occupancy only. No overnight guest.

Please be prepared to provide the following:

  • $50 non-refundable credit check
  • 3 most recent consecutive pay stubs
  • Application form
  • Copy of social security card
  • Employment Verification Letter (starting date, salary, position) or,
  • Recent bank statement
  • School letter (if you are currently a student)
  • W2&Tax Return

The apartment is neither Grand Central, nor the Holiday Inn nor Trick Central…I do not appreciate strangers traipsing through the place.

The room is pretty big, but there’s a catch – people would call it a living room because it’s connected to the kitchen and also is the only access to the bathroom (that’s the only annoying thing, I swear).

Im a friendly 33 years old gay guy, I work, Im VERY VERY quiet, VERY reserved and discreet. Im VERY VERY clean, im very responsible, easy going and you MUST be too and if you are NOT home much and DONT really bring strangers in the house, we are gonna be perfect roommates.

A guy who is like minded with the nudity at home thing and not shy about sharing a bathroom is a must.

This isn’t the cleanest apartment, and doesn’t have a new renovation, but you get a big space and a great location for an incredible price.

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